Famed for their three-second attention span, goldfish are one of the smallest pets you're ever likely to own. This is an animal that eats regularly, fouls its living space even more so, won't fetch   you your newspaper or let you scratch its stomach and has the propensity to turn tail up when you have your back turned for less than half a second. Their predilection for submerged plastic castles and miniature gold-coin-spilling pirate chests has also yet to be determined. There's fun somewhere in those scaley little packages though, I'm sure of it. DP

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