The "tallest midget in the freak show", Dave is small, dark, and pathologically tidy (in his bedroom anyway). He is the acknowledged computer geek and infotainment oracle, and has led the flat astray by introducing them to the wonderful world of IRC (stand back and watch the hilarity ensue!). Also has his own website. Most days find him battling on with his law and psychology degrees in a valiant attempt to emerge from Otago University both in one piece and in under five years.

Along with Anna and Todd, Dave grew up in the sprawling metropolis of Invercargill (population = 50,000: bogan (redneck) population = 49,000). If you can find a hill in Invers then you're doing pretty well but all in all he believes was a good place to grow up. School days at Hargest were mostly good times as well and "The Oregano Study Group" in 7th form allowed for substantial eating during free periods (but consequentially not very much study).

Dave believes strongly in the concept of personal space and is therefore interpreted as having "serious touching issues" by the rest of the freaks, largely because he won't let Sarah pat him. Doesn't like Anna's aversion to body hair but sees a full body wax as a betrayal of his genetic heritage.

Can quote large passages from popular TV programs and frequently uses obscure film and TV references to the constant bewilderment of the rest of The Freak Show. Keeps saying "bite me" and being offended when someone tries to.