A man decides that he wants a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet. He walks into a pet store and goes up to the shop assistant.I'll get me coat."Excuse me, I want a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet."
The shop assistant says "I have just the thing for you, it's a talking centipede."
"Cool!", the man exclaims. "I'll take it!"
The man takes the centipede home in his little box and places him on the kitchen table. He looks into the box and says, "Hey centipede, how's about you and me go to the pub for a beer?" The centipede doesn't answer, so the guy thinks, "I'll just go off for five minutes and come back and ask again."
Five minutes pass and the guy returns. "Hey centipede, how's about you and me go to the pub for a beer?" Again, the centipede doesn't answer him. "Hmmm", the guy thinks to himself, "I'll just go off and watch a bit of tele, then come back and ask him again."
Half an hour passes and the guy comes back again. "I'll just ask him one more time", he tells himself. "Hey centipede, how's about you and me go to the pub for a beer?" The centipede looks up at the man and says, "For fuck's sake I heard you the first time ... I'm putting my shoes on!"
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