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Ow, my head. Well not really my head per se, more like my tongue (feels like it's licked an acre of sandpaper) and lungs (feel like they've been through a cheesegrater). Never mind.

[cue wobbly harp music and wavey dissolve]

Last night started off pleasantly with a dinner with old chum Kate at perennial favourite, Busaba Eathai: tasty green chicken curry and a nice Chilean Sauvignon Blanc too. A quick trip to Manto followed, to partake of a few cranberry Breezers. Warning! Too many of these will get you extremely drunk: they taste exactly like raspberry cordial with no discernible alcohol content whatsoever. I stopped at two which was plenty, trust me.

Then it was off to meet the lads at Comptons. Unfortunately, the PoofBlogMeet™ was destined to be cursed with similar venue hassles to the last all-comers event. Upstairs at Comptons was closed so after quaffing a quick pint on the stairs, the Townswomen's Guild retired to the more sedate surrounds of The Yard's loft bar. I think there was a vodka and soda somewhere in there too. And another pint (or more?). Ian was on the receiving end of one of your humble author's friendly headbutts, for reasons which now escape me (or did I dream that? Recollections vary). All in all, a fun night. [ photos ]
‹ 31.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

I want I want I want: "The characters come complete with a set of costumes, including a turquoise and silver tutu for Bungle, a deerstalker and cape, a fake ermine-trimmed, red velvet cape and snakeskin, superhero costume and mask for George and Zippy."
‹ 31.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

ickle.org: Not what it says on the box.
‹ 30.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

A quick reminder: the inaugural PoofBlogMeet™ is on tonight in London's glitzy West End. So don't go to the premiere of "Pearl Harbour" like you were intending to ... come along to Comptons instead for drinking and talking bollocks and stuff. [ more info ]
‹ 30.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Victor "I liked it so much, I bought the company!" Kiam dies, aged 74. As a kid, I never could understand how someone could get so enthusiastic about shaving. As an adult, nothing's changed.
‹ 30.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

ickle.org: Dental nightmare.
‹ 30.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Long weekends = good, say all of us. Assorted mucking about with many and sundry, along with shopping to a limited degree and all topped off with the requisite amount of too much alcohol, too much brown leaf, one too many Moroccan-inspired nightclubs and far too few healthy eating options. Must ... change ... lifestyle ...

Nah, bugger that. Sunday was probably the pick of the three - Scally managed to entertain guests with a great meal, despite having a broken arm (go send him tea and sympathy), before we decamped (quiet in the back) to The 2 Brewers in Clapham to imbibe further and see Pam Ann.

Now, I've never seen Ms Ann before but she was fantastic! From the crack-inspired opening video, through the requisite audience participation and humilation, and to the afro-wigged gospel finale (WTF?), the 60s throwback stewardess kept everyone well amused. And yes, there was even time for New Zealand jokes. Bless.
‹ 30.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Big Brother II commenced today: more rat-in-a-cage action with ten punters (including gay trolley dolly Brian) willing to live out their lives on camera for the next several weeks. One of summer's guilty pleasures to be sure.
‹ 26.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

ickle.org: A bastard to get off your clothes.
‹ 26.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Ian comes up trumps and republishes his reviews (with annotation) from the guidebook mentioned on Wednesday. Wonderfully entertaining stuff!
‹ 26.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

You may notice a few new names popping up in the COHORTS list to the left: top-qualidee blogs the lot of them [ the whole list ]
‹ 25.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

"Divine's a hottie, compared to a frocked-up Luke, I assure you." Argh! I'm blind! Luke reveals his true/false list.
‹ 25.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Somebody set up him the Claire Swires: Paul Chung, a 24-year-old investment banker, bragged of his sexploits and heady lifestyle at his new job in Korea to a few friends. And they told two friends. And they told two friends. And so on. And so on. And so on. Predictably, he was forced to resign. Read the mail, then read the comments.
‹ 25.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Chronicling auction items of dubious taste: Who Would Buy That?
‹ 25.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Suck on the Kaycee debacle:

"Of course, where there are suckers, there's a business plan, and just because Kaycee's "mom" didn't see fit to exploit that fact doesn't mean others won't. Rather than being indignant, the Kaycee beta testers should consider themselves lucky - they got to experience the very latest in immersive marketing ahead of the rush. Forget Evan Chan and A.I. and their little tail-chasing game: Kaycee had more emotional resonance, a better mystery and the ultimate in reality-based drama - people who didn't even know they were involved."

My only lingering question is who the hell would name their "child" after a cheesy 70s disco band?
‹ 24.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Possibly the weirdest order I've ever placed with Amazon:

Your order (received 21 May 2001, 15:44 BST):
----------------------------------------------
Ordered  Title  Price     Dispatched  Subtotal
----------------------------------------------
   1     Growl  2.99 GBP      1       2.99 GBP
   1     Neigh  2.99 GBP      1       2.99 GBP
   1     Meow   2.99 GBP      1       2.99 GBP
----------------------------------------------
                  Subtotal:           8.97 GBP
                  Delivery Charge:    3.93 GBP
                  Total:             12.90 GBP
‹ 24.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

From the New Zealand wires:

Miss Horowhenua offers to resign after strip
"Reigning Miss Horowhenua Karlena Cornell has offered to hand in her crown after pictures of her cavorting nude on stage at an R18 Sexpo in Australia were published in a magazine and posted on the Internet ... Miss Cornell said: 'I didn't give it a thought that I was still Miss Horowhenua, I was just having a bit of fun'."

All blokes set to cheer on Silver Ferns
"Aaron Gilmore is easy on the eyes and has rhythm in his toes – and the funky aerobics instructor is not afraid of strutting his stuff. All this makes the 22-year-old a perfect candidate for the new all-male Vodafone-sponsored cheerleading squad being formed to rev up audiences before the Silver Ferns' netball games ... 'I'm sure there are many guys out there who've always had a hankering to strut their stuff in public – as well as a passion for netball – and we want to hear from them'."
‹ 24.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

"Samuel Johnson would surely agree that a gay man who tires of London is not tired of life, but only in need of a sun tan."

How true. Ian, are you one of the authors?
‹ 24.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Today's all-day on-off reading: "Evil takes the stand" - a lengthy review of two books documenting the British libel trial between David Irving and Deborah Lipstadt, the latter having written of the former "[he is] one of the most dangerous spokespersons for Holocaust denial". Quite fascinating from a legal perspective - to defend the claim Lipstadt was forced to prove the truth of her statement, in other words, that there was an event known as the Holocaust which could be subsequently denied. Both accounts look worthy of a read.
‹ 24.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

ickle.org: Grab one and pretend you're a cheese-eating giant.
‹ 23.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

I never spotted this one in England. Or Ireland for that matter. I wonder why?
‹ 23.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

From the Pink Press Office:

"Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! Are you gay (or cute enough to try out for the team)? Are you a blogger (or thinking of starting one)? Do you live in London (or anywhere near by)? If so, come and join us upstairs at Compton's on Wednesday 30th May from 8pm onwards for London's 1st Gay Bloggers Meet."

It'll be super ... thanks for asking!
‹ 23.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

With reference to yesterday's list:

1. True. Davo, Doster, Doogie, DJ, Davey Crockett. Use them at your own risk.
   
   
2. True. "Hanlon" chronicled the life of a New Zealand lawyer in the 1800s. He famously failed to defend the infanticidal Minnie Dean, the first and last woman to be hanged in New Zealand. I was a street-urchin. Beforehand, and for the sake of "authenticity", they shore my head. I cried.
   
   
3. False. Whist people have been known to liken me to Chandler, I don't possess a nubbin.
   
   
4. True. Alexandra, Andrew, Caroline, Christopher, Craig, Debbie, Edward, Elliot, Grace, Holly, Jayne, Julie, Rebecca, Shona, Simon and Stephen.
   
   
5. True. And I'm not sure that I ever will.
   
   
6. True. "Oh we saw your skinny/taller/less-hairy/Polynesian look-a-like last night ... I could've sworn it was you."
   
   
7. True. New Zealand Marmite (marketed as Vitamite over here), not British Marmite. Mmmm ... yeasty.
   
   
8. True. But I love them nonetheless.
   
   
9. True. Surprising, but true. Don't like the smell.
   
   
10. True. I looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. It was promptly shaved off as soon as I realised this wasn't going to change with further growth.

So there you go ... you now know a little bit more about me than you used to, I'd wager. Fortunately, the blackmailable material remains under lock and key.
‹ 23.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

So much wicker! So much gingham! So little time! (Warning: May induce nausea)
‹ 22.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

"One of these things is not like the other ..." (via Mugwump):

1. I have five nicknames.
   
   
2. I've appeared in a tv legal drama set in the nineteenth-century.
   
   
3. I have a third nipple.
   
   
4. I have sixteen cousins.
   
   
5. I've never jumped out of a plane.
   
   
6. People think they see my doppelgangers all the time.
   
   
7. I like Marmite more than I like Vegemite.
   
   
8. Cats make me sneeze.
   
   
9. I've never smoked pot.
   
   
10. I had a goatee for two weeks.

Which is the only lie? Answers, please!
‹ 22.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

My autobiography?
‹ 22.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Dreamworks' latest animated venture "Shrek" is set to open soon: check out the trailer - fantastic! Of course, Mike Myers doing a Scottish accent is an instant recipe for comedic success (cf. "We have a piper doon!"). And is it just me or does the Princess look remarkably like Kate Mulgrew? (TV's Captain Janeway).
‹ 22.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

ickle.org: It's the work of goblins!
‹ 21.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Great apes in peril: Now, I'm by no means a dedicated conservationist, but growing up in New Zealand does make you a little more attuned to the plight of endangered species (we've got dozens of them). It's an amazing shame that great ape numbers have been allowed to dwindle so badly - you almost have the feeling you can't look them in the eye, as I had the chance to do whilst at Berlin's Zoologischer Garten. We homo sapiens have a lot to answer for.
‹ 21.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Frist weekend back = great, for a fair few of the reasons that Meg mentions here. That goil's got eloquence, I tells ya.
‹ 21.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

‹ 20.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

"Wings of Desire" beats "City of Angels" by a solid 1.7 points out of 10. There is justice in the world.
‹ 18.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Some small things you may have missed while I was away: Janette Krankie, Little Ted, shots, fillings, goosebumps and The Netherlands.
‹ 18.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Well kiddiewinkles, I'm back - much browner, relaxed and lung/liver-damaged than when I left. There'll be a full report to follow, but here are a few highlights:

• On the anniversary of the first Nazi book-burning, loitering on the site in the square of Humboldt University's Law Faculty.
  
  
• Wandering through Tiergarten on a hot lazy Saturday through to the shining brilliance of the Siegessäule.
  
  
• Imbibing beer and White Russians and shooting the breeze into the wee smalls along Oranienburger Straße.
  
  
• Climbing two hundred and eight-seven steps to the top of St. Vitus' Cathedral for the best view in Prague.
  
  
• Wandering countless small streets and alleyways as the city literally unfolds before your eyes.
  
  
• Fifty pence per beer, one pound per pack of cigarettes ... say no more.

It's what holidays are all about really: great times spent in the company of great friends.
‹ 18.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Yes, I've managed to rouse myself from the beginnings of holiday apathy long enough to post: shock horror! The long weekend was a good one - a frenzy of drinking/dancing action on Friday and Saturday at London's favourite themeclubs (G-A-Y and Heaven) with fantastic friends, old and new (Tom dancing on a stage in front of 1500 people? Why that's unheard of!).

Sunday night saw Tracy, Mike and myself arrive early evening at the Shepherd's Bush Empire for a gig by New Zealand master craftsman, Neil Finn. The man's music was a part of growing up back home: to steal from Wayne's World 2, you were issued with Split Enz and Crowded House albums if you lived in the NZ suburbs in the 70s, 80s and 90s. I've only seen Neil perform once before, back in 1992 (I think) when Crowded House were doing the rounds: a fantastic, memorable concert which he managed to repeat this time around with great aplomb.

All the old favourites (and his new material) were carried off perfectly, prompting two lengthy encores which included The Smiths' "How Soon Is Now", with Johnny Marr on guitar for added effect. Definitely an evening to savour and remember: I doff my hat to you sir.

And today, sunshine! Blue sky! Genius! Even the hordes of Oxford Street were no dampener to my mood as I succeeded in fattening my wardrobe by a few items. And with that, I'm off for the next week and a bit - eight days in Berlin and Prague with some old chums who are touring the continent as we speak. Stories to follow when I return ... until then, happy trails!
‹ 9.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Addendum: "Cutting out Anne Robinson's eyes is fun!" (Al, Chief Design Guru).
‹ 5.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

I am going to terrorise this fair city's combined neighbourhoods this weekend with my very own Anne Robinson mask. Be afraid people of London ... be very afraid.
[courtesy of Meg who is an old mask afficionado from way back]
‹ 5.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Yes Luke, I've gotten hold of it! Anne Robinson goes surreal: "You are the least clockwork apple. Goodbye!"
[via linkmachinego/lukelog]
‹ 5.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Why does Satan taunt us so?
‹ 5.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Over at ickle.org, Luke waxes lyrically about PJ Harvey. Got something little you'd like to write about? Send it!
‹ 5.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

I'm being quiet today. Shhhhh.
‹ 4.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

A propos of nothing, if anyone has any travel tips (people/places/things to see/do, people/places/things to avoid, etc.) for Berlin and Prague, could you please pass them on? I'd be much obliged.
‹ 3.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Sometimes you forget just how good The Muppet Show really was: Animal sings "Danny Boy", Bunsen tests the Electric Banana Sharpener, Fozzie demonstrates phrenology, Kermit is frustrated by the evils of copyright infringement.
‹ 3.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

If your friends came with warnings (percolated with Meg yesterday): Dave*, Luke**, Meg***, Tom****.

* May appear hairier than in photos. May cause drowsiness. See your doctor if pain persists. Irritation may occur after excessive contact. Not suitable for frequent application. Contains FDC Blue 3.

** Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Dark colours may bleed - wash separately. May be harmful to children. Batteries not included. Not for sale outside Australia. Contains no genetically-modified ingredients.

*** Dizziness and/or nausea may occur with frequent use. Do not exceed recommended dose. Flammable - handle with care. Light blue touch paper - stand well clear. Dryclean ONLY. Objects in the mirror may be uglier than they appear.

**** Always read the label. Do not mix with alcohol. No purchase necessary. The value of your Tom™ may fall as well as rise. May contain traces of nuts.
‹ 3.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Suck's "Filler" turns five:

Therapist: "You're not thinking big enough! What if you had your own TV show?

Polly: "Right, right! It could be a lot like Sex in the City, only with more eating scenes!"

Ditto that. Happy birthday Polly!
‹ 2.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

"Stand back Superman, Iceman, Spiderman ..."
‹ 2.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Congratulations to Dan on his Newsnight piece last night regarding "A.I." ... you oldmeejahoor you! ;)
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Welcome to Cher's World-O-Crap™! On sale today we have Cher vinyl halter tops, Cher thermal PJ sets and Cher cyber stress balls ... sheer Cher genius!
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

There's only 130 days left until Unix clocks up its billionth second ... let the geeks of the world unite and party like it's 999,999,999!
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

"[Nelson Mandela] told the 5,000 strong crowd: "I have already thanked the people of Liverpool for the honour of being a citizen of this famous city." There was an embarrassed silence before people laughed and shouted back: 'It's Leeds'."
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

An entertaining look at Wonder Woman - sixty years in comics and still going strong - and her current gay illustrator.

The Lynda Carter televisual offering was also one of those seminal mid-childhood shows, which included (but was by no means limited to) Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, The Dukes of Hazzard, Knight Rider, The Greatest American Hero and Ark II (anyone remember that particular gem?). The Superfriends incarnation was imprinted on my brain at an even earlier age. Certain flatmates can attest to my mean Lasso of Truth impersonation with the phone cord. Perhaps that explains it?

Oh, and no more invisible plane? Pah!
[via linkmachinego]
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Go crazy on the streets of London tomorrow with Mayday Monopoly! "All welcome except journos and pigs. Please no cameras."

Ship 'em all to Cuba I say.
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Some people have a real knack for telling travel stories. From my friend Megan today:

"We then caught a night bus down south towards the beach, however managed to plough into a few sheep so had to call the Turkish delegation for the protection of livestock, the livestock coroner, the vet (for those that survived the carnage), a representative for the Sheep Have Rights Too collective, the traffic police, the actual police police, the insurance company, and the bus company for a new bus because without authorisation from the Prime Minister of Turkey himself and four Jedi knights, you cannot travel with a broken front light. Of course the whole lot of them had to come and witness the scene and discuss the consequences of such an incident for Asia Minor in general. Whilst all this was all being sorted, we sat on the side of the road for a few hours and waited for a new bus. With treatment, I am now able to laugh."

Note to self: learn the art of humourously recounting travel-related incidents.
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

A day in the life of a McEmployee: wonder no more ...
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›

Tiny sleep periods are good. Second only to lengthy sleep periods, of course.
‹ 1.5.01 / 0 comment(s) ›