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Spotted this morning: the beatific visage of TV's Lorraine Kelly adorning a sandwich board outside a shop that bore the legend "Tag your tots - you'd be lost without them". I'm sorry, do what to your tots? Slip a chip under their skin while they're eating their Frosties? Surreptitiously staple a large piece of plastic to their ears while they're watching Tweenies? Or simply just spray paint them head to foot in a violent shade of orange? The mind boggles.
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